#and i'll admit i've written a few of my own (that i most likely will never publish because they're mostly vents)

[blusical]

hey friendly reminder: you can enjoy reading/writing sports rpf without shaming those that don't like rpf (and vise versa for that matter!) 🥰🥰🥰

[cosmicatta]

One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis

So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.

And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.

Some notes before I start:

The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.

I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.

For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).

These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!

The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.

Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.

I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.

But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.

The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.

What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):

P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."

P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."

P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].

And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.

P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"

But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.

It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.

In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."

P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."

Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.

In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.

P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"

Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)

Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.

Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")

But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.

In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora—Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)

In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.

His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.

We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.

The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:

P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."

It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.

The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:

"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."

It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.

Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:

The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.

Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.

Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.

Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.

Law is bad at cooking.

Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.

The Hearts’ jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.

Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.

And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!

Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!

[star-daughter]

Whooh boy. Hi everyone! Sorry, It's been a while. But I have quite the post for you all today, because we'll be talking about a webcomic I just finished! ... I will warn you all though, that I do not have the kindest of words to say about it.

You may be aware of this comic, as it has a considerable following, especially here on tumblr, the comic is called Sparklecare. It currently has 4 volumes and is on a short hiatus so the website can finish it's redesign, but the plot summary of the comic from the last available snapshot of the website is as follows:

The comic follows the story of a cat named Barry Ill and his experience of being admitted to the Sparklecare hospital. Despite its glamorous reputation, the hospital is actually a prison that tortures and kills its patients and drains their families of insurance by the corrupt hospital's owner, Dr. Cuddles. Cuddles is a greedy Capitalist scumbag who cares about nothing but money, and so far, everything is working out for him. Any patients who escape or try to speak out against the hospital aren't believed and are written off as crazy. The story follows Barry's journey into uncovering the truth about why this place really is the way it is, and why nobody's talking about it.

From the outside, the comic is very striking and intriguing! From it's prominent art style and art direction, to the concept itself, it sounds like a fun time! ...Right? Well that's where the comic gets you; see just like the in-universe hospital, Sparklecare isn't as inviting and pleasant once you really sink your teeth in. And I'm here to talk about why I think that is.

Before we begin, I'd like to clarify since I've become aware of the community's um... Questionable attitude towards critique, that if you enjoy Sparklecare, that's totally fine! I'm not gonna tell you what you can and can't read, I'm here to express my own thoughts on it.

Now, I won't torture you with this post if it ends up on your dash, so the full post will be under the cut! Please check the reblogs, I may add more there if I run out of space.

Also, CW for bright colours, blood and a whole heaping o' medical mispractice.

Before I get into some of the more serious issues with the comic, I wanna first start off with the thing you're going to first see trying to read it: The art. Here I would say the website, but since it's getting a redesign, I don't feel confident speaking on it. I'll leave one note on it though: it needs serious optimization...

Onto the art: I will say, I found the art quite charming, especially the art in the first 2 volumes. I think the comic has a way with setting mood and tone using it's palette, specifically in the dramatic "blue/red" scenes - I think those look gorgeous!

The style in volume 1 & 2 is also very pleasing to the eye, although it can look off at points. I think the style succeeds extremely well with it's tendency to give characters large, exaggerated expressions - it's very cartoony and I love it. The lineweight is also used very well in my opinion!

However... There's a few big elephants in the room that they are The designs, lettering & panel work.

I'll begin with how the series handles it's lettering, as it's one of the most important parts of a comic. Although it's unique, that does not mean it's good.

In volume 1, it starts off fine enough, it's a simple speech bubble with white/black text.

It sort of flip-flops between having a shadow/glow and not having one, which although confusing and hurts my eyes sometimes, not a deal breaker! The bubbles are all colour coded also so no matter the scene, you understand who is talking. That is very good! I like that! I wish the colours weren't as bright as the backgrounds, but I understand why they are.

Volume 2 introduces what I consider my favorite of the lettering styles, big bold outlines with bubbles that better surround the text!

It's easily the most recognizable lettering style of all the volumes, and it's very readable. It's simple, but lettering is at it's best when it's simple and understandable.

This volume's lettering also introduces colour coded words & different fonts.

Which, I think looks lovely! It adds personality, and since fonts carry different tones with them, it helps with emphasis and how people read the dialogue. However, this isn't to say I think this lettering is perfect.. I'm not a huge fan of the random dots & spots, I think they clutter up the page when there too many characters on screen speaking, which distracted me from focusing on the actual words they were saying.

It also changes mid-way through volume 2! Suddenly, we get character-coded dots & spots... Which, cool in theory, but in practice, as I mentioned, it clutters the page if there's too many characters speaking at once.

Plus, they're used on background characters who do not appear again after their introduction, which is such a waste... If you're going to introduce these character-specific details, they should be used on characters who are important, not character we'll never see again.

When we get to volume 3 & 4, the lettering style almost completely solidifies, the same big bold outlining from volume 2... But now instead of just having personalized dots, we get fully personalized speech bubbles. Which, again, cool in theory! But in practice it's just... So hard to read.

On lettering, I will applaud the use of a custom hand-written font. It looks great! It's fairly clear and adds a nice touch to the comic's overall appearance... But how they use the font is, in my opinion, awful. Characters talk way too much for how much page space there is, which means that there isn't enough space for the bubble to encompass the text, which means text needs to get smaller.

These pages are over 2000 pixels wide and tall, but there's no consideration for how the images & text will look when shrunk down to fit into a normal browser page, which means the text gets tiny and barely readable if there's too much of it - which there often is. I'll get into how I feel about the writing in a moment.

On the panel work, it's fine, it's not super jaw-dropping but it's serviceable. Where the panel work starts to fail though, is it's pacing. See, in comics, pacing is extremely important, good pacing means a better and clearer reading experience, bad pacing can leave the reader confused and force them to reread repeatedly to understand what's going on.

Sparklecare suffers from this heavily, I feel. Take a look to this page below, while not the worst example of it, I think demonstrates a bit what I mean.

There's a lot of text, similar looking shots, and... Very little background to help, well, ground where we are, which made me feel dizzy while reading. There's not a lot of proper flow, because speech bubbles float all over the place, often times out of order in which you are supposed to read them. You tend to dart your eyes all over the page to "properly" read it, which makes for a bad reading experience - the clearer the order is, the better the flow.

On backgrounds, I do not like the near-complete lack of them. Sparklecare gets around backgrounds by filling the colour voids of the panels with dots, specks, lines and patterns - but they don't do the job! It makes the pages feel more cluttered and difficult to look at and read.

Even when they do have backgrounds, they're also filled to the brim with patterning to take your mind off how often strange they look.

Being unable to see what's going on is a reoccurring issue with the comic, and it doesn't just end at the panel work or backgrounds...

The character designs in Sparklecare also contribute to the visual clutter, what with many of them having many small details or otherwise being unpleasant to look at due to their colour palette.

Here's a few examples of characters I think have too much going on or are just eyesores. And see, I get it, they're supposed to be sparkleanimals - designed like a kid on DeviantArt was making them in 2011, but you can get that look without making the designs hurt to look at. Sparklecare both tries to work within a limited palette and tries to have every colour possible on a character and it pulls neither off well. Not to mention, the multitude of small dots & details, adding more to the pile of small dots in the comic.

When a ton of characters are on screen, it tends to make things more confusing to look at - due in part also to the comic's continuity issue. Things or characters that are in one panel or page, will disappear the next, or swap places. Overall, small art issues pile up onto a mess of bright colours and rainbow.

Now here's where we get to the fun point, The writing. Oh boy! For the most part, or at least in volumes 1 & 2, the writing is completely fine. Complicated, a bit odd, but nothing to scream about... Until volumes 3 & 4, because that's when the issues in the writing really starts to show it's rainbow-speckled face.

I'll be direct, I don't like the writing in Sparklecare. The characters are typically unlikable or annoying, and when they do have something interesting going for them, it gets walked back on for plot reasons. Characters also seem to be unable to do wrong, unless they're deliberately out to be the bad one. Characters will do something bad, but get reassured that everything is fine and it isn't their fault even though they did something bad - which is weird the first time, but awful the next 40.

The writing does have it's good points (I liked most of the writing in volume 2, I thought Hemera's struggles with wanting to keep her friends safe was really interesting and I liked the chunklings), but there's prominent issues I can't shove aside.

I namely have issues with the humor, specifically it's uh... Sexual humor. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a good penis joke every now and then, but volume 4 has about 5x the sex jokes of any volume. It was genuinely horrible to sit through because I knew every serious moment would get a joke about stroking it a page or two afterwards.

(One note on that first image there, it happens right after Barry [the green guy] completely belittles and insults Uni [the purple one]...)

The meta humor also felt very, very forced.

It always came out of nowhere, and completely out of place every time it was used. I like meta humor also, but this is supposed to be a more serious comic, yes? I mean, it should be considering the topics at hand, so suddenly throwing in references to this being a comic feels weird to read.

I will say, I do like some of the jokes, specifically these ones:

Let me circle back to the character writing really quick, because there was characters I enjoyed! ... Just not the main ones.

I think, out of everyone, my favorite characters were:

Several background characters with no lines

Dr. Party

Cyn

Jean

Rem

I also really enjoyed how Cuddles was written in volume 1 & 2, he felt very threatening to me.

Outside of these characters though, I found little interest in the main cast and even found myself rooting for the downfall of a few of them due to their poor writing.

Specifically on Barry, there's a small arc in volume 2 where he realizes he needs to stop violently denying that Uni has magic (Which is a stupid plot in my opinion, by the way, considering the worldbuilding has a lot of magic in it. You'd think the smart guy character would know that?) after Uni's magic helps them in the dump. However, right afterwards, in volume 3 & 4, Barry goes right back to verbally assaulting Uni about how magic isn't real! It's not enjoyable to read, and makes no sense to me after what happened in volume 2.

One note, since I don't know where to put this but, I don't like doom. I really don't ... I think I'm supposed to feel bad for him? But I can't! I saw him in volume 1 take glee in having power over the patients, and as the site states:

Doom is not a normal nurse, because he takes on the role of a doctor by harming people alongside regular nurse duties.

He literally tortures people! I'm sorry, I cannot forgive that! No matter how bad he feels about it.

Some more notes on writing before I end this because it's getting too long.. The disability rep in Sparklecare is, questionable sometimes. For the most part I think it's perfectly fine, buuut there are moments I don't think of fondly.. Specifically this moment in volume 2:

Barry starts having a paranoid and panicky moment due to his contamination OCD (Because they're in a literal trash heap) and Uni decides to...

Call it cute??? Genuinely what the hell, who thought this was a good thing to put in here? I haven't read the spin-off AU comic, but I hear it treats it's character with OCD even weirder. Yuck!

On a related note, I hate the cutesy names for disorders. They don't even come up often in-universe, there's little purpose in having them, especially if most of them are just real life, actual disorders. I know it's about an abusive hospital but come on man! You don't have to use baby names for everything! You don't even follow the weird naming pattern for everything! Things like autism don't get a weird cutesy name, but OCD and depression get one? Have some consistency if you're gonna make a weird universe decision.

Alrighty.. This should be the end of it, I'm not sure how to end it because there's still more I want to talk about! I'm super-duper open to talking about anything I've said here or elaborating on why I feel certain ways. This is in no way meant to be a hit-piece of the creator of Sparklecare, I think there's a lot of protentional, and I simply adore some aspects of the comic (Specifically visually). I really do hope this comic will improve over time and that it sees a long life of success.

If you come to this post to disagree, I ask you read through what I say carefully and come at me respectfully, I have no interest in fighting with people over a webcomic about furries.

-Mod Star

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hi Ice! Follow-up to your response, with a few more details (I tried to keep it short, but I can tell that might have made things unclear). I think you misunderstood my question - the thing is that I'm more than willing to go back and change him (I already know there are several scenes where he's depicted having and taking care of straight hair, for starters) but I am not sure I should. If I was to write this story with a Black MC, I would straight up have to Start Over.

First off, we're talking about Infinite the Jackal from Sonic forces, just to clear that up.

In canon, he's a pretty straightforward one-note villain. He's obsessed with an "only the strong survive"-mentality and does not exactly have a lot of depth, and at the end, SEGA has made it pretty clear that they're putting him in the shame-vault because people thought he was cringe. He's not dead-dead, because they might change their minds in 8 more years, but it's also not inaccurate to say they killed him. He helps start a war, kills a bunch of people, then get defeated by the heroes and then he's gone.

In my story, (well first of all he's alive and around obviously), I aim to add that depth. Where did he come from, how did he get here. I've made up a lot of stuff that is clearly not intended by canon. Basically the willing-a-whole-rounded-complex-person into existence that I've since learned that Black characters are often denied in fandom.

HOWEVER, and here's the parts where it's like, I've clearly written a white man in a white story and it would most likely be Extremely Distasteful to put a Black MC in this role:

His motivations for his past villainy is 'I suffered, so now everyone else should too'. This is framed as bad and something he needs to unlearn. When from the perspective of 'one guy made you and then didn't take responsibility, you never learned how to ask for help, and now you're taking that out on literally everyone around you', this makes sense. However, a Black man wanting to tear the whole world down and start over would have a whole different vibe and feel a lot more justified. Having him then be taken in by a (majority white-coded) cast and be taught that if he just stops being so mean, he won't have to struggle so much because people will gladly help him ... Kinda Yikes!

Secondly, part of the arc he's currently going through is realizing that now that he's lost his powers and this is widely known, most people don't hate him enough to attack him in the streets. I don't imagine that the anthropomorphic animal society has the same amount of structural racism as we do, but I would still be a white person writing a Black man entering society and finding that it hates him Less than he expected, rather than more. Which ... just seems tone-deaf.

I've built this entire character on the concept of unlearning toxic masculinity as I see it, though my own white lens. If he was Black, I would have written a different story. That's the part I mean about how I could change how he takes care of his hair, but not the structure of the entire narrative. This shit is unsalvagable. It will always be racist to an extent.

It would be so nice if it was as easy as just going back and changing him, which says a lot, because that would not be easy 😂

So FOLLOW-UP QUESTION I guess is: ...What if I can't do that? Is your main takeaway that I should stop publishing this story? I suppose that Is the conclusion that makes the most sense, seeing as I'm realizing I probably shouldn't have written it the way I did and I wouldn't have written it was I starting now. I'm ... not gonna start over, I can admit that. That's too much effort, it's already taken 7 years of my life 😂 I've got other projects I wanna work on. With intentionally written Black characters whose narratives work with that, for one.

I'll admit to my own tolerance-of-antiblackness here: I really care about this story. I would like to continue it. That was why I was wondering if there was a way to like, put a band-aid on it. I'm realizing the right thing would probably be to take it down? I'll admit that I'm not certain I will do that. But I will consider it strongly.

I should mention that I have other Black-coded characters in this story that I'm trying to be intentional about, among the hero cast, because I was made aware of their coding up-front. Is a whitewash that many would consider up to interpretation (though I do disagree) enough of a minus to delete a story that also aims to show the supporting Black cast in a positive light? It's a whole dilemma and that's why I wanted some actual Black people's opinions on it.

I realize this is a lot, you absolutely don't have to put in more effort in your response than "delete that shit" if that's how you feel haha, I'm not here to have my feelings coddled. Any other Black readers are obviously free to do the same in the comments.

Once again, I really appreciate all your work, and you, and Hot Chocolate. You deserve a million dollars for it honestly

All right, calling for other opinions!

I feel like it sounds like you already came to your own conclusions about things and just needed someone to vent to 😅.

No, I personally don't think the good side Black characters makes up for the overwhelming whitewash of the MC you now think is Black, no. If it were me, and you don't want to take it down, but you don't want to do the work to fix it, then just cancel the writing. Leave it up and be done with it. But that's just me, and you're looking for multiple opinions!

[okwritingandpain]

Penny Lane's Getting Better (The Beatles x Reader)

Epilogue: The End

Date: 2/9/78

Dear John, 

I wish I could have told you how much I loved you. From the first moment our eyes met, to the last shaky breath. I don't know if you remember me anymore, it's been so long since you went off with Paul, George, and Ringo on your grand adventure. I hope everything is going well for you. 

It's been, what, 20 years? More than that at this point, I know...

I tried reaching out a few years ago, but I couldn't get ahold of you because you had stepped away from the public eye. I hope you're happy with your family, and that you release some new music soon. 

Imagine has to be one of my new favorites, keep working away! I miss you, I'll be sure to reach out again soon. 

Love, 

the girl you showed around Liverpool over 20 years ago

Date: 4/16/78

Dear my best friend, 

It's been awhile since our last talk. Nearly 7 years now...how's your family? I hope they're doing well...

John, I, don't know what to say, how we can come together again. I know we are split apart, really and even our music is starting to reflect that. 

But you'll always be my best friend, you'll always be the person who inspired me the most. I love you, John. 

Highest regards, 

the boy you found in Liverpool 

Date 6/26/78 

Dear friend, 

I find your boldness endearing. The words you speak to the world are strong and noble like those of my own. I sometimes wonder how things could have been different, if we hadn't disbanded, but even you know that I wanted out of there more than anyone...more than you. 

Things have been fine over here. I've been soul searching, figuring out myself...especially in these times. I hope you and your family are well. I wish my own was. 

Notify me when you drop that next album will you? I'd appreciate a chance to listen to something that reminds me of better times. 

Signed, 

who they considered quiet 

8/30/78

Dearest friend of friends, 

Recording with you has been the best thing I've done in awhile. The albums aren't doing very well right now. I'm just glad for your contributions. If you need anything, I'm always here so just send a word. 

I haven't seen either George or Paul for awhile, the pretty girl from Liverpool reached out to me and she said she sent you a message a few months back. 

We've been wondering about you John...

Peace and Love, 

Your Drummer

20 years earlier 

"We won't be gone too long," John says, adjusting his cap. You raise your eyebrow as you fluff up his hairs that sticks out. 

"I know, but when you make it big, don't feel compelled to come back too soon, alright?" You reply, stepping away from him.

The train was nearing the station, your heart swelled, seeing your beloved friends going off into the world.

"I'm going to miss you," John whispers to you. He kisses your hand with a slight smirk. You chuckle to yourself, this feeling that he's going to forge his own path...you know that he will have bigger things to think about than you.

At least that's what you thought...

10/9/80

Dear Y/N,

I know it's been a long time since I've written you. My life has changed in so many ways, I can't even explain it. I admit that I wanted to reach out in the past and didn't have the courage too. I really missed you, but I felt I left you behind...

I see that now that I should have just written you. 

I still love you, and always will...

I really do miss you, maybe we can meet up again sometime. It would be nice to meet up again after all these years. I heard you're getting a name for yourself in England. 

Thank you for the birthday card, by the way, you've sent me one every year. 

I hope to see another one next year, 

I love you, 

John Lennon

@sabrielka-133

[mothman-can-write]

I was randomly searching up what Maria’s name meant and it said “of the sea” and I couldn’t help but think of sailor Maria from your fic! All the stuff it said fits her so much which is funny. (Unless I’m stupid and you did that on purpose lmao)

Oh you don't know the can of worms that you've opened, anon.

I'll admit that my penchant for giving Maria ocean imagery was originally just complete coincidence! I can't even really describe where it came from, it just made sense to me. When I see her I think of the ocean, maybe because she's very blue? and then when paired with Natasha's hair and general 'fiery' theme, you end up with a nice fire/water motif. I don't know, but it crawled its way into my brain and now its stuck there forever.

But! The name Maria. Gorgeous name, I love it. It has so many meanings because it's been adapted from a bunch of different languages, so I'm gonna go through a few of them and how they hurt me.

First of all, relating to the sea, obviously I like this one because it ties in nicely with my own writing themes, and honestly I just think it fits very nicely with her personality. I've written posts before about how she is like the sea, so I won't go over them again. I also find it funny that sometimes this is written as meaning 'marine' and well, she was one

Another meaning of it is 'wished-for child' which is especially painful. We don't really know much about her mother, but I wonder if either of her parents knew the meaning when they picked the name. I wonder if Ed ever thought about how wrong it was. I wonder if Maria ever found out about the meaning and thought about the irony.

A more lighthearted one is how Miriam (which has later been adapted into Maria too) apparently means pretty woman, or... woman the size of a pigeon? Idk but I think thats funny to think about. She is pretty, and sometimes I wonder if she was a gangly teenager before she joined the marines and got buff. Y'know. Bird legs n all.

Bitter and beloved are also fun, because honestly I do think she is a very bitter character, mostly because she was not beloved. Famous is another funny one, being the head of an international underground security org. Pretty much as far from famous as you can get. Infamous maybe, amidst SHIELD agents and world powers

Rebelious, again, hilarious. That woman has never broken a rule in her life. Unless they're stupid rules, then she breaks all of them. I guess she only doesn't break rules because she makes them. Maybe being a part of SHIELD is a rebellion in itself. When Ed is her father, who can blame her? I can imagine her being a very rebellious teen, but a very rule abiding child because she was scared all the time. I just think you can't be 16 and hate your dad that much and not sneak out of the house at least once a week.

All of these meanings are just what I've gathered from googling it, because obviously I am not an etymologist, but I do think it's fun to look into the meanings of names! Especially when there are so many for Maria here. My faves are obvs 'star of the sea' and 'wished-for child'

Also, as a side note, I find it especially funny that in comparison Natasha's name has essentially no meaning. It just means 'born on christmas day/around christmas', and she was born on Dec 3rd so it's just...a very normal name for her to have

Thanks for the ask! I'm glad everyone likes sailor Maria as much as I do. I really think she might be the AU I think about most, and I constantly have to hold myself back from writing the exact same AU again but longer. I need to write about her fishing. I need to.

[william-o]

I participated in the Seasons of Gensokyo Zine!

I'm back once again in a collaboration Gensokyozine to share a fic I've made for their zine! Last year I wrote two short poem pieces but this year I did something I rarely do and wrote a whole short story!

You can read my piece on its own on ao3 here! But I highly recommend looking and reading all the amazing pieces this new zine has to offer!

I have quite a bit to talk about for this piece I wrote, it's been a journey! If you're interesting keep reading below!

So I knew there was going to be another event like this this year but I had no idea what the theme would be until the announcement was made. When I heard it was going to be based on seasons it was actually pretty tough figuring out a story revolving around that. I was also determined to write more than just a poem this time around so it had to be somewhat substantial.

Thankfully in the application where we had to pitch our idea there were a few topic examples provided, one of which involved using a story involving cicadas. So I started to do some research on cicadas, and what I found as a source of inspiration was a story about Cicadas by Lafcadio Hearn. Perhaps you've heard about him? Me being a *somewhat* superstitious individual saw it as a sign that this is what I was to write about for the seasons of gensokyo zine!

With further research I discover the existence of Dog Day Cicadas. They share the name of the shot type in the extra stage of Hidden Star in Four Seasons, they have folktale of how they're a sign of the end of summer and beginning of the next season, and strictly as a bonus for myself they're green and black just like me! It sounds like a story perfect to feature Yukari!

Now one of my biggest fears about writing a fanfic is completely misinterpreting a character. So I did all I could to try to get Yukari written just right. My idea was that it was most common in Gensokyo that people hated the sound cicadas make, except for Yukari. I was however advised that I needed some kind of reason that Yukari would like the sound cicadas make, or some kind of justification. Thankfully I found just what I needed in Chapter Five of Cage in Lunatic Runagate where Yukari states "The moon was unthinkably silent compared to the Gensokyo that was constantly noisy from bickering between humans and youkai. ~ Whether it was decay or pure heaven, I hated it. I needed the noise of the city." Close enough in my book to say that Yukari prefers noise over silence whether it be from people, a city, or cicadas.

Now when it comes to Son Biten, I didn't pressure myself as much to try and get her character right as I did with Yukari. She is one of the newest characters after all so there was less material to analyze her character. Although if I were to criticize myself about this fic, it would be that she's only there to be a plot point. I'll admit, I only really wanted her in here as a way to have the great sage equal to heaven and gensokyo and an actual sage interact. I will say I did a little bit of research to Son's personality, but I more or less just had her trying to do her best pretending to live up to the title she gave herself (Even though her character is more than just that).

And for good measure at the end I threw in a poem, this time in the tanka form (5-7-5-7-7). This was overall a lot of fun to write! I tried to format the story as a whole similar to a Hifuu story as well as the "A Beautiful Flower Blooming Violet Every Sixty Years" story. Speaking of Hifuu, I did throw in a little reference to Taboo Japan Disentanglement, did you happen to catch it? Well I hope you enjoyed my little story, I'm gonna go order some pizza and I'll see you again next year! (Hopefully!)

[therottenkingsreckoning]

Part 2 of Chapter 9! I told y'all I'd get this done quick. This also means that we're halfway through this beast, and I'm so glad you've been sticking with me through this journey so far. Enjoy!

~~Little Flame, Ch. 9, part 2~~

Eddie's eyes widened, and despite himself a smile crept onto his face. "Wha- really? Oh, well that great news darlin'! She'll say yes, I just know it!"

"I really hope so," Sally murmured. Then, seeming to regain her normal bombast, she waved both hands above her head in a gesture towards the imagined spectacle. "But that's all the more reason it needs to be bold! Fantastic! I'll put on the greatest play you've ever seen, with her and I as the leading stars, and that moment will be the most beautiful 3rd act of any story ever written!"

"Oh I'm sure it will!" Eddie said excitedly. It was hard not to get excited when the girl got on moments like this. "And I'll help ya as soon as I've gotten Frank's food!"

She turned to look at him, crestfallen. "Y...you can't help me now?"

Eddie shook his head. "Nope. I've got my own sweetheart waitin' back at home with a cravin' for hot dogs, and by god I'm gonna get 'em." He'd not forgotten the original plan, nor was he going to be pulled away from it.

"Oh well, I'm going there too!" she insisted. "I need to get supplies after all. You could just...help me pick them out real quick, discuss a basic plan, and then I promise I'll let you continue your journey in peace!"

"No good," he told her. "Howdy's fresh out of the stuff I need, which is why I'm here at all." He wouldn't compromise on this.

Sally looked at him with sad, pathetic eyes. "Please?"

He'd maybe compromise on this.

"Alright, fine," he sighed, admitting defeat at last. "But only 'cus it's you, and I do wanna see it go well for ya."

"Oh excellent!" She squealed delightedly, pulling him into a hug. "I knew I could trust you!"

A few moments later, and with his groceries stored in her fridge for momentary safekeeping, the pair had set off. He could've brought it all back to his own house, but the thought of returning without those crucial items was...less than appealing. Probably why I'm choosing to do this at all, he thought. Rather here than there.

Unfortunately for him though, the pinball machine of entropy had not yet lost its momentum, as not even a full minute into their walk, an all-too-familiar pink figure appeared.

"Shit, it's her!" Sally hissed. "I can't let her know what I'm doing, it'd ruin everything!"

"Well whaddya expect me t-" Eddie began.

All that met him was the rustling wind, and a suspiciously star-shaped void to his right.

"Hi Eddie!" Julie said cheerfully, skipping up to him. "Who are you talking to?"

"...no one, apparently," he grumbled.

"Oh...well, have you seen Sally anywhere? I just thought of a great new game for us to play, but I can't seem to find her."

"N-nope!" he lied quickly, glancing around for any sign of his friend. "Can't...can't say I have, all day."

Julie squinted at him suspiciously, and Eddie felt the hair on his neck stand up. He wasn't a very good liar, especially when he was already stressed out as is.

"You sure?"

"Sure am!" He pretended to think for a moment. "Let's see... I went and dropped off all the mail earlier, but uhh...she was outta the house right then." That part wasn't a lie- she'd been gone, as she often was. "Then I came home and started workin' on sorting letters, but I remembered I needed to drop by the store and get and some food for Frank-"

"Oh!" Julie exclaimed. "Is that why you're here? Well, we could go to Howdy's together, and I can say hi to Frank when we bring it all back."

"Wait!" the man blurted out, realizing his mistake too late. She looked at him confused, already turning to head in the direction of the bodega.

"H-he doesn't have the ingredients I need," Eddie continued. "Ran out of the milk and cherries for those signature hot dogs, so I gotta go ask Barbie about it."

Julie huffed and turned to him, crossing her arms. "Ok well, now I know you're lying. Frank wouldn't want a hot dog, especially those ones, he hates them! So what's the truth?"

"That is the truth!" Eddie huffed back, hands on hips. "Ain't ya heard of a craving before?"

"I can tell you're hiding something, and sending me in circles!" Then, seeming to think of something, she smiled smugly and pointed a finger at him. "I'll believe you if you spin around 5 times and point back at me."

"What does that have t-" Eddie began, but it was no use. He was trapped and he knew it, however silly these games might be. Spinning once, twice, three times around and round, his vision blurred and wobbled until his outstretched finger nearly collided with hers.

"Is that good now? Can I leave?"

"Hmm... not quite," the monster said. "What am I thinking of right now?"

"Uhh...flowers?" He said.

"Nope."

"Games."

"Nuh uh."

"Look, lemme go!" Eddie shouted, stamping his foot in anger. "I'm runnin' late, and I just know Frank already hates me right now cus I couldn't just get 'em what he wants, and I'm tired and stressed and a terrible husband and I really don't need this right now!"

Silence. Julie looked at him in shock, and he could sense that wherever Sally had hidden herself she was stunned too. "Oh.." the rainbow monster said gently. "You weren't lying about that, were you?"

"What reason would I have to lie?" He growled, wiping away the tears that had begun to form.

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry," she said, stepping out of his way. "I'll let you get back to it."

"It's fine," the man grumbled. It really wasn't, but he was too tired to keep arguing. Glancing back at her for just a moment though, he said, "Maybe you should drop by later. Help explain what took me so long. He might get less mad at you."

And now, after all the nonsense he'd been through, he'd made his way over to Poppy's barn. Those big red doors might as well have been the gates of heaven, and his angel was visible still in the window, laughing away at some unknown joke. Finally, he could get this done.

Knocking on the door, he was greeted with a cheery "come in!" from the resident bird. She looked up from where she'd been adding pumpkin seeds to a recipe, and her eyes widened at his disheveled & miserable appearance. "Oh dear... are you alright?"

"Yeah," Barbie added. "No offense, but you look like you've been put through the wringer."

"It's been...a day," Eddie sighed. "Been looking for ya cus I needed to ask a favor."

"Oh?" The dog stepped a bit closer, scratching awkwardly at the space between her tied-up ears. It was rare that Eddie Dear asked anything of his friends- the man was self-reliant to a fault, and would much rather be the one giving than getting. So whatever this was must be important.

Eddie clasped his hands in front of him, looking up at her with pleading eyes. "Please tell me you have some cherries and condensed milk I can borrow. Frank really wants a hot dog and Howdy was fresh outta both of those."

An awkward silence, then the hound burst out laughing, relieved. "Didya really come all this way just to ask for that? You could've just asked Jonesy, I left him back at home."

The realization crumpled Eddie, and he hung his head in shame. Yes, he probably could've just asked earlier and saved so much of this hassle. But, fool that he was, he'd gone and overthought. Like a fool he'd made it 10 times harder on himself.

Barbie's laughter faded as she took in his reaction. She put a hand on his shoulder and sighed, "Well I'm sorry to tell ya, but I'm out too. I had my treat for today, but I'm prepared to go hungry for a bit."

And just like that, all his dreams had been shattered. He was so close to Paradise, but it had all been a mirage. Looking desperately over to Poppy, he was met with a shake of her head. "Dear, you know I don't eat things like that." Trying her best to reassure, she added "I-I'm sure Frank will understand. I mean... it's not your fault you couldn't find any."

Mhmm," Barbie hummed in agreement. "She's right. No, hey, look at me. She's right. You got nothin' to beat yourself up for. You tried, and that's what matters."

Eddie wasn't sure he believed them, but what else could he say or do by now? He'd exhausted his options, and would simply have to bear the anger, the crushing disappointment, that his lover would have for him. As he made his way home slowly, footsteps like lead, he was briefly considering swandiving into the nearest lake when the shaking of tall grass nearby caught his ear.

"Hey."

"Hey Mosely," Eddie said dejectedly. "Can't talk right now, sorry. Boutta go get my head bitten off."

"Ah, t-that's the thing actually," the grass continued. "I uhh...overheard what you were talking about just now, and I actually have some."

"Wha- really?!" Eddie instinctively whipped around to peer into the brush, then quickly apologized and turned away from his scopophobic friend. But was it true?

"Wait here. I'll go get them."

And wait he did. If it had been anyone else, Eddie wouldn't have trusted they'd come back. Even now he had his doubts, his nervous impatience as each minute ticked by. But he knew Mosely, and as soon as he'd fully begun to worry he heard movement again. He turned to see a can and jar stacked neatly on the dirt road, still cold when he went to pick them up.

"Thank you." Eddie's voice quivered, damn near sobbing with relief. "I could hug you right now."

"Haha... please don't," said Mosely.

The trip back went quickly. He snatched his groceries from Sally's fridge, checking first that no Julies were around (what an awkward explanation that would be!). Then he was off to the little yellow house with speed.

"Where have you been?!" Frank snapped when he answered the door to their mate. "And what's with the bags? I asked to get one thing for me, not all of this!"

"This is your hot dog," Eddie tried to explain weakly, already visibly wilting as the anger he'd been fearing bore down on him.

"How? Couldn't he m... huh?"

Words trailed off as the man before them seemed to crumple, sinking down to his knees as bags fell an uneven thud-and-rustle on to the floor.

"I'm sorry," Eddie began, hands again clasped in desperate prayer. "I am so sorry Frankie, I tried to go quickly. But then Howdy ran out of milk and cherries so I tried to get some from Barb-"

"Eddie..."

"-but then she was over at Poppy's, so I tried to go there but Sally stopped me to ask about a play and Julie forced me to answer riddles 'cus she didn't believe me when I told her ya wanted hot dogs-"

"Ed- wait Julie?"

"-And when I finally got over to Poppy's she was out which broke my heart 'cus I knew ya really wanted it and-"

"EDDIE!!!"

Frank had heard enough. Grabbing hold of his husband's shoulders, they pulled him forwards...

and into a kiss.

Eddie flinched in shock, then his arms wrapped around his love as he leaned in, finally breaking to rest his head on Frank's chest.

"It's ok honey," the grey chuckled. "I understand now. And you still got me what I wanted."

"I uhh...yea!" Eddie looked up at his mate with doe eyes. "You're not mad at me anymore?"

"Oh I'm still angry," Frank said as he helped their husband up. "But not at you."

Eddie was going to ask about that, but he didn't. Far better to not risk spoiling the moment when he'd seemingly gotten so lucky. "You still want your food now?"

"Mhmm!"

"Well alrighty then!" He practically skipped to the kitchen, feeling sunshine and rainbows right now as his previous worries melted in the loving presence of his partner. "I am sorry it took so long," he called through the doorway. "For what it's worth."

Frank laughed at this as he walked in and sat at the table. "Love, I was actually overreacting a bit. It's only been 15 minutes."

[malleusmaleficent]

jesus 85k words in my fic, that's crazy

it feels so weird, you know? like i don't feel like i've written that much, but i have. the chapters keep getting longer as the story goes on, lol. it boggles the mind to think about how many hours this has consumed, easily a few hundred hours at least. id ballpark 120-180 hours, 1-1.5 hours per night for 120 days. sometimes i spend as much as 3 hours writing, sometimes none at all, so those are just rough averages. like this is increasingly so much of my life

and i've spent tears writing it too, and written it while in agonizing physical pain lol. it's crazy

despite all that it's not something i can easily discuss with others, you know? super weird feeling, having so much of your life being spent on something that's treated as a bit taboo due to just, like. popular conception of the medium

and i'll be the first to admit i've made fun of fanfiction a lot, i think that it's certainly fair target for a bit of comedy. but at the same time, you know, there's a lot of smart and/or talented people writing things that are interesting or thoughtful. it's a real bazaar you know, never know what you're going to find.

i write fanfic partially to explore my own thoughts and feelings and partially for fun. so it's more than just wanting to write a thing with preexisting characters i like (not to suggest that there's anything wrong with that), it's reflective of a part of me in a very meaningful way, and yet it's so difficult to talk to close friends about it. lol

most of my close friends know but it's not something they're comfortable talking about

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.146 And so it begins

Chi Chi told us so many stories about Karmine as a baby, I thought I would never make it to bed. I hoped I didn't look crazy while I used every muscle in my body to keep my eyes open. If I was tired because of age, this adult stage and I were not going to get along. Around midnight, she finally left, freeing me to flee to my bed. I was cooked and didn't even remember changing my clothes. What I did remember was closing my eyes and being awakened abruptly minutes later by my phone. It didn't occur to me that it was too late for anyone to be calling because my brain was definitely still asleep. But I answered on autopilot. It was Mama. She said Dad had passed away and I should call her later to discuss funeral arrangements. I heard what she said, but I was too tired to really understand, so I said okay and went back to sleep, crashing harder than I ever had before.

I woke up feeling restless and sat on the edge of the bed, gripping my head in my hands, trying to make sense of it all, but I couldn't pinpoint what was troubling me. A sense of unease overwhelmed me because I had a nagging feeling that some unfinished business weighed heavily on me, but couldn't recall the details. I sat there, combing over my thoughts until it came to me. My dad was gone. I waited for something to happen, expecting a deluge of tears, a flurry of anger, a vast emptiness...something. But I felt nothing. How? Was this...peace? After all, we had a great, fulfilling relationship. I got to say goodbye. Was there really anything to be sad about?

Desiree called for me, so I shook myself out of my thoughts and made a bottle.

"Hey, sweetie. Do you remember granddad? He gave you your eyes. He taught me everything I know. He, uhhh...he's gone now, so he won't come see you anymore. It's okay if you're sad. Mommy and daddy are here for you."

I knew she had no idea what I said, but it just came out. Maybe it was my own inner dialogue, trying to convince me it was acceptable to display my emotions. Still, I felt nothing. After she was satisfied, I showered and waited for Sophia to wake up.

She giggled in her sleep a lot. I always wondered what she dreamt about and wished my sleep was as entertaining as hers. I loved her playful spirit. She might have tiny gray hairs sprouting here and there, and little lines creasing her face that weren't there before, but she was every bit as youthful and gorgeous as she was the first time I saw her. When she finally opened her eyes, she asked if I had been watching her, and I admitted to it.

"Like what you see?" she asked.

"I love what I see."

"Good. What's going on?"

"I've been waiting to tell you something."

"What is it?" she asked, her voice still heavy with sleep. She slid from under the blanket and sat next to me with worry and concern written on her face. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You need your rest."

"I'm fine, Luca. What's going on?"

"It's Dad. He's gone."

Her eyes welled up. At least one of us could cry for him.

"So soon?" As the news settled within her, her shoulders slumped, burdened by our seemingly sudden loss. "Oh, Luca. I'm so sorry."

She flew to me, squeezing even tighter than she did the other night, thinking I needed comfort, but she needed it too.

"I need to go to Mama's house for a few hours, but I'll be back."

"Of course. Take all the time you need."

Lately, it seemed all I did was leave Sophia and Desiree at home. I didn't like it, but that was daily life for many parents. Most men had jobs outside the home they went to every day and only saw their families at night. It was normal, but I still felt like I was abandoning them. I just wanted to be there with them, but life kept pulling me away.

I ended up at Dad's house on my way to Newcrest. I couldn't explain how I ended up there if someone asked me to explain it with a SimRay at my head, but there I was, standing on the sidewalk, gazing up at this place that used to be my home. It called to me, I guess, so I went inside and looked around. He didn't have much, like he said, but I was surrounded by so many good memories.

It occurred to me that I should look for his urn while I was there, but I never found it. I must have walked around that house three times searching for it, but it was nowhere to be found. How could we have a funeral with no urn? And if it wasn't there, where in the world was it? How would I be able to find it without knowing where he died? Defeat set in, but I refused to give up and hoped Mama could help me.

She met me at the door and threw her arms around me.

"I'm sorry for your loss, buddy. Can I do anything for you?"

"I'm oddly fine. Is that weird? I don't know if I'm at peace or I'm gonna fall apart later."

"It's not weird at all. One thing I learned from him and Mommy is sims grieve in different ways. Maybe yours isn't a loud, sobby grief. Maybe it's quiet and reflective."

"I went by the house. There wasn't an urn. How can we have the funeral without it, Mama?"

She averted her eyes.

"Ummm... You didn't find it because... Well...okay, he was here last night."

"He was...here?"

My second question was going to be what was he doing there in a suspicious tone, but he could have been hanging out with Alessia or helping with the babies. But he never once touched those babies, and he and Alessia didn't have that kind of relationship. And given how weird Mama acted, and how she'd been looking at him lately, and how much he'd been talking about her, my very educated guess was that neither Less nor the babies had anything to do with his late-night visit, and I didn't want to know anymore. Besides, now it made more sense why she was the one who called me.

"So, you have it then?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"...That's it?"

"It's none of my business, Mama."

It was all hands on deck later when the taxing trio were unhappy all at once. Less was outside swimming, so I went and got her so we would be evenly matched. Arvin seemed to be the easiest one to care for. He had a rather sunny disposition, only crying when he needed something vs. his brother who cried for just about any reason. He seemed to be really sensitive but didn't enjoy being held for long. I knew he was going to be a handful. Breanna was rather calm, but man did she love to eat. I tried to put her down several times after feeding her, but she kept crying for more.

Alessia and I must have been alike in our grief, because she seemed relatively okay too, not that I expected her to be all broken up. She loved our dad in her own way, but their relationship wasn't like ours. When Mama passes, it might be a different story.

[aerodaltonimperial]

Listen, Imma be real with y'all for a second.

In 2022, the Chrono Cross remaster came out for PS4. And that summer, I wrote a 50k epic about my two favorites from twenty years ago and dropped it on a long-dead fandom for an absolute rarepair. It was one of the most ridiculous, fruitless things I've ever written. I knew very few people would read it. I think I never got more than 50 hits on it. I did it anyway, because it was fun and I had a great time and I knew it was good. And then I got into wrestling, so I sort of never looked back at it, because I was writing other things.

I cannot tell you how many times I have opened up my AO3 account in the past... 6 months or so, and thought, so, people were only my friends while I was writing what they wanted, huh? I stopped writing this, and people just fled? I have opened up my old Hookhausen fics and sat with one finger hovering over the delete button so many times, because if that's all people cared about from me, I was gonna nuke it out of spite. I'm not necessarily proud of it, but it's felt awful this past half a year writing in such a bubble, and as my therapist can attest to, when I feel hurt, I lash out to hurt other people in turn. Vamp is the only reason I won't do it. But it's been so hard being plunged back into writing alone after so long of people caring what I was doing. It felt like writing that CC fic again, only this time, I knew that people had simply lost interest. In me as a person, really.

Fic is the only place I feel worth anything as a writer. Years of failure, and fandom is my only source of positive feelings about my own words and my own work. It's hard to lose that, especially in the wake of giving up a decade-long dream. It's HARD to lose the only thing keeping you going with a hobby, and I'll be the first to admit that I haven't been handling it well. I used fandom interaction on my fic to help fill all the pieces left exposed and smarting from failing at trad pub over and over and over. It's not a bad thing to do, really - a lot of writers suggest doing this, to help build motivation and confidence while trying to get published. But it only works when there are people there to read your fic, haha. Fandom, for me, has been contributing to my depression symptoms big time. At one point, my therapist suggested maybe I should step out of fandom and fic writing, because it was spiraling my mental health. And to have him tell me that, after our years together, really opened my eyes to how bad it had gotten for me in regards to my self-worth and self-confidence.

I got a comment on that CC fic this morning. It happens so rarely that it really caught me off-guard, but it was one of the nicest things ever, and I sat reading it thinking... okay. This is worth it, isn't it? That fic has been there for years, garnering so little attention it wouldn't have mattered if I had deleted it. I was reminded this morning that it does matter. That single comment on an obscure fandom that peaked twenty years ago and still never had many people in it, made me feel like spending my time in fandom is still something worth doing. I can't thank that reader enough for taking the time to leave it for me. If you ever think that your interaction with people's work doesn't matter, I hope this helps you feel differently. Maybe people aren't reading your fics right now, but maybe they'll find a fic you poured your heart and soul into a couple of years later.

Not sure why I am posting this LOL. I expect people will unfollow me. Sometimes, I feel like I can't talk about these things without seeming like a bitch, but y'all already know I'm a bitch anyway. 🤣 We write fic because we love it, because we adore the source material, because we have passion for the characters. But we post because we want to share and connect with people. It just feels so much like that second part has somehow gotten lost recently. Anyway. Back to your regularly scheduled Tumblr lives. 💚

[justatalkingface]

what's your opinion on the big 3? When I was hyperfoxed on this series they were the thing I care Abt the most (I enjoyed season 4, obv I'd change some stuff now but I still remember it being atleast ok)

I hate how dirty they did my girl nejire, as far as I'm aware they didn't even do anything with her after the whole pagent thing she just got a small backstory about how she was sad (don't know all of it I haven't been keeping up that well w the manga)

mirios not having a quirky and having to save eri (a girl who I can't imagine would be that skilled at the age she is and has been training on lizards to give his quirk back all together, I'd imagine it taking a few more months but bnhas time is shit so) and coming back in the war arc to punch one person and then basically do noting iicr

The only decently written one was amajiki, I wish they had more going on I think they have a fun dynamic (w them helping taking care of eri and me rlly liking idk what it's called but I love the fluff it brings) :(

Lots of mixed feelings, in all honesty. Lots of mixed feelings.

I'll admit, a big part of my mixed feelings about them is they showed up as the latest, 'Stomp on Izuku's everything' at the point in the story where it was becoming obvious that there was always something stomping on Izuku, and that gave me a bad first impression on them I've never been able to shake... which isn't helped by how they're connected to the clusterfuck of Nighteye, of all people, which is kind of my whole thing with Mirio (warning; I am biased):

As a person, he's obviously nice, but as a character, basiclly his entire reason for existing was, 'give Izuku an existential crisis' and I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that, really. His entire character is just bigger, stronger, older, happier, more capable, more confident, more successful, more loved Izuku, who had a Quirk his whole life and only had to dig deep to find out how strong it, and he, was all along.

Unironically. It's....

It's a really bad look, to be blunt; he feels kind of like a bad fanfiction character written by a bad writer who wanted to put their super special OC in the story, except he's canon.

Since we've never seen him even think something unheroic, there's really nothing that distinguishes him from that impression factual statement, which, again, makes it hard for me to give a shit about him, or even remember him... which is a problem Hori seems to share, lol. It doesn't help that I loathe Sir Nighteye and that most of his development time is spent admiring him, to boot, and that his parts of the story are either empty or focused on a living plot device I can't quite like no matter how hard I try because of how blatant the emotional manipulation is about the biggest story breaking, SOD shattering plot device until Stars and Stripes showed up.

If he ever got any kind of development to flesh him out a human being rather than being either Izuku and/or a heroic archetype, it'd help, but beyond all of that his biggest personality trait is liking jokes, and that barely even comes up. Or, rather, considering both the Final Arc and his response to Bakugou's name, along with Nighteye's own tendencies, 'jokes', maybe.

He doesn't deserve it, I admit it, it's not his fault, but I just can't get past that. He also doesn't deserve to just be forgotten until his big moment of a butt joke, but... MHA, everyone. In all honesty, I'd just like him better if his entire story arc didn't exist in and as some of the worst parts of the Overhaul arc, but he's tainted by that fact.

I freely admit that I am unfairly biased against him, so take all of that with a mountain of salt.

As a side note though, god, the story doesn't seem to realize how badly Nighteye is using the poor kid; Mirio thinks Nighteye is training him because he's worthy, while Nighteye mainly seems to be doing it because he's the closest thing to an All Might clone he can get, bar him actually cloning All Might, even if he grew to like him for who he is. I'm not sure Nighteye ever thought of Mirio with just his Quirk as anything more than a temporary situation; even at the start of canon, when on his own merits he's rising to fame with how successful he is, Nighteye's overall focus is still about getting AFO into the kid.

I almost wish I could see Nighteye explaining how all of his training came down to getting All Might's Quirk, just to see MIrio react and tear Nighteye down a peg about it, except Hori's history of handling these kinds of things means he'd never be allowed to be properly offended on his own behalf, the poor bastard.

Moving on, Tamaki. Out of all of them, he's had the biggest of an on-screen story arc, and in a intellectual way his Quirk is easily the most interesting. Unfortunately, while he has a personality, it feels so bland at times that he's far easier to remember for his Quirk than who he is.

I liked his story, really, but at the time it was overshadowed by Mirio and his everything, and by the time he showed back up it was clear how irrelevant it and he was, so it was more about how (admittedly, very) cool he get his Quirk to be than it was about him, and with some brutal honesty, it's probably because his Quirk is so interesting that he even got that much focus beyond that initial arc by Hori.

And... Nejirie.

In a combat sense she's easily the best of them, really; Mirio is almost purely defensive, which limits him (especially if he's not surprising someone with it) while Tamaki's Quirk, while flexible, is so conditional in ways that can easily hold him back (we only ever see him fight with full preparation; if he's not gearing for a fight he'd be easy to ambush), and like a lot of things in the Final Arc, his big laser canon thing is.... questionable.

Nejirie, though, is just simply powerful. In a setting where everyone has one power and one main application of that power, where you either fly or blast things, but not both, she's the closest I've seen to a 'traditional' super hero, like you'd see in Marvel or DC.

At the same time, though, out of the three of them she least has a story, for obvious reasons, and it's a disgrace, really. If Hori had just spent some time on her, on the her backstory that apparently exists (yeah, I'm not sure where that is either), she could have been so interesting... but really, all she is is the Girl Teammate. Her personality traits are The Girl Teammate's personality traits. She's just The Girl Teammate stamped over all of the interesting stuff, and it's such a waste, it really is.

And finally, as a unit? The Big Three is a shiny toy that Hori forgot in the corner somewhere as soon as he got bored with it. He spent a few minutes oohing and aahing over them, focusing really hard on developing interesting powers, how they could be used, and how strong they were, only to start to lose interest as soon as those powers were established, and he was writing the three of them off before their introductory arc was even over.

[thehauntingofbeasts]

what inspired these hymns? :0

Excellent question, and one I've thought about a lot!

The whole concept took some inspiration from my personal experiences in fiction-based spirituality spaces, and from my time in a cult, where the worst parts of being in said cult were wrapped up in the 'weird but harmless' things that I didn't feel like I could discuss without mockery.

From there, I also thought a bit about how people treat situations like the Snapewives, which I'll admit did have some bearing on things. I felt like we didn't really have stories on the internet that showed a sympathetic side to situations like the Snapewives, that really captured how intertwined a lot of fiction-based spirituality gets with real-world identity.

I did also want to write a sequel/spinoff to my /r/nosleep series, Hotel For The Spirits, for a while — there were a lot of elements from that series that I felt I could have done better on or interrogated in retrospect, having written it when I was still in high school.

So that was what caused me to form the initial idea of making These Hymns, which was bolstered by needing to have a final project for my Digital Culture course I was taking in my last semester of undergraduate college. Ergo, this project came into existence, having a short version that I sent in as my final project and a longer version that's the one we can read online.

Generally speaking, I took a lot of inspiration from existing pieces of online series discussing the internet in making These Hymns Aren't For The Holy.

A few that come to mind right now in the genre:

The Northern Caves by @nostalgebraist absolutely blew my mind with the way it managed to capture the outer edges of a book series that didn't exist in the most delightfully House of Leaves-ian way while still managing to tell a coherent and striking interpersonal narrative between the different forum users. Definitely inspired me to go a bit hog-wild with making fictional media for These Hymns.

What Happens Next (will shock you) by @maximumgraves, a brilliant dark comedy webcomic that has never, ever left my head since I read it. It's a chilling tale that does cover a lot of very unlikeable, very online people while still making them sympathetic in their own ways. I truly think it's one of the best works of fiction at capturing the modern era of the internet and how wacky it's become, and deserves your attention. One of the characters, Milo, was definitely in my head while plotting the characterization of quietCrocodile, the main narrator of These Hymns.

Unauthorized Fan Treatise by Lauren James: Quite frankly, if you ever want to write a web-based story about the internet, this should be at the top of your list. This was the story that made me realize that projects like this were possible, and the edited multi-media approach it took impressed me deeply. Absolutely mindblowing how well it captures shipping culture in fandoms and how it goes wrong, tbh.

I was also very strongly inspired by Umineko: When They Cry, which I was in the middle of reading when actively plotting These Hymns Aren't For The Holy. Specifically, I was thinking of Episode 1 of Umineko, where one of the pivotal characters (Beatrice) isn't fully in the narrative yet but looms over it, haunting the narrative, influencing everyone's behavior — while another character (Battler) denies her existence. This back and forth of 'is it real, is it not?' influenced a lot about how I wrote Conway/the Corrupter Without Morals (the god that the Haunting Beasts worship) in These Hymns Aren't For The Holy, the specific way he's not present and yet /omnipresent/.

And then, of course, no mention of my inspirations is complete without namedropping the works of Sealtoast, creator of Recollect: Records of the Other Side, whose characters and stories inspired the creation of the Corrupter Without Morals/Conway in the first place. :3c

Hopefully this helps!

[gingerlegacy07]

Writer Interview Game

Thank you @morelikeravenbore for the tag! Everyone please check out her blog! She's a great writer with a beautiful MC!

When did you start writing? I was around 12/13 when I first wrote an actual little story. I loved doing it once for an assignment at school and from there on I kept writing. Mostly it was little love stories I made up, but when I was 15 I really got into Cinema Bizarre and wrote a (very bad, very cringey) chaptered story about them. I also wrote a pretty big Supernatural story in Dutch, but I never continued it after about 30 chapters. I stopped writing for a few years after that. I always loved reading fanfiction though and once I got into Kpop when I was 20, I started writing a little bit again. Mostly oneshots and all. After that I didn't write in over 8 years. Well, at one point I did try my hand on an orginal story, but I'm not even two chapters in so... Anyway, when HL came out I really got obsessed with it. And I started reading fanfiction about it. Before I knew it I was writing again and this time actually finished every story I started haha. Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write? The only trope rather than genre that I enjoy reading, but haven't written (yet lol) is enemies-to-lovers. I absolutely love that trope, but only if it's done well. And I have not yet dared to try it because I feel like I wouldn't make it good. But one day I do really want to try writing it. Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often? No. I'd rather have my own style and so far I haven't been compared to someone. Though I do admit that since I read most books in English, I've gotten some ideas of describing certain scenes or use certain wording in my writing. Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? Simple; on my bed, on my couch or sitting at my dinner table haha. I'll admit I've even wrote a bit at work lol. I don't really care for the space around me. All I need is my laptop and the inspiration/want to write and the words will come to me.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse? Listening to music, reading or watching a movie. Basically seeing or hearing anything that tells a story. A lot of times it either brings me ideas on how to proceed or it creates a vague outline for me which I want to expand and write a oneshot. I have a few stories written that are heavily based on a song. But sometimes I want to progress my WIP and want something to happen, just that I don't know what. Music, video's or book can help with that. Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you? Absolutely. Heartbreak, fluffiness, happy family life. With nsfw fics it's the aftercare scene and there's almost always some form of trauma. It doesn't surprise me as those themes are the ones I love to write and feel comfortable writing. Happy family life and aftercare is something I enjoy writing a lot and fluff is something I write because I'm a huge empath and need some fluff (especially after writing a very angsty scene or oneshot) to heal me. Heartbreak can make for the most delicious and soulcrushing angst and trauma does that too. They also help with character development; your character goes through something terrible and you'll need to write them dealing with it and moving on (or not) from it in their own way. What is your reason for writing? Because I want to read something that I haven't seen before or is hard to find and then I decide, well I can just write it myself. For example: with HL, I stuck to reading fanfiction until I started shipping Ominis and Poppy together. There were hardly any fics out there and the very few that were, only had them as a minor side couple. So I decided I wanted to write something with them, where they develop a friendship that turns into a relationship overtime. Very slowburn. At the same time I wanted people to read it or at least get interested and since I was sure just writing them as a main couple might not work (and honestly, I do love me some good SebastianxMC), I decided to make the main characters SebastianxReader (so whoever read it could insert either themselves, their own MC or someone they made up on the spot) with Ominis and Poppy as a pretty big side couple. So yeah, my main reason for writing is because I always got ideas in my head that I would love to read, but is hard to find. Thus I try writing it myself. Is their any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating? Honestly, any kind of positive comment is already motivating to me. But whenever someone takes their time to give a bit more details to their thoughts about my writing, it is extremely motivating for me to write more. It always helps to know someone likes it enough to leave a long comment and with giving their thoughts, I can get a bit of perspective on what my readers like/do not like. How do you want to be thought about by your readers? Good question. I don't necessarily want them to have a particular opinion about me, but I'd be flattered if, whenever they see my name besides a title, they think along the lines of: Oh I do like her stories. I dunno. It's always nice to know people enjoy your work, but as far as having an opinion about me, it doesn't matter really. What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? I think understanding the characters I write and sticking to that while I develop their growth in my stories. How do you feel about your own writing? Not gonna lie, I always thought it was trash, but ever since I started writing for HL I actually like it now. Still, the first few chapters of my trilogy are a bit... icky to me, but overall I think I do a decent job at writing and it's pretty good. Most importantly; I love it!

That was fun! Thank you for whoever made this :D NP tags: @writingannyred @polarisgreenley @zetadraconis11 @sallowslove @mspegasus17

[tarabyte3]

Fic Updates

It's been a while soo....

I Want You to Show Me Weak — As I've stated before, there are only 2 chapters left in the entire fic. I'm going to be finishing both of them before I post chapter 26. Then I'll be posting chapter 27 the next day. Gonna end the fic with a bang 😏 I have everything outlined and thought out, I just have to finish writing it (I'm very excited about what I have planned/written for the final chapter, which includes the ending). Though I will admit, it's been difficult to write knowing I'll be saying goodbye to this story. I'll miss my boys SO much 😭, as well as this version of Kino x Reader, but I want to finish it for myself and for all of you! Besides, there's always the possibility of oneshots set in this universe in the future AND I'm not done writing for Kino. Not even close! I have no date estimate at the moment, but I'm trying to give this one my full attention so 🤞

The Devil Makes Us Sin — Once Show Me Weak is done, I'm going to give this one my full attention for a while. (Though, to be honest, even though I'm trying to focus on finishing Kino first, I still keep this document open and regularly pop in to write a paragraph or two. What can I say, David is VERY fun to write for 😏, I love him, and I must follow the serotonin). The next few chapters will be shorter so they should go quickly, and I already have around the next 4 of them half written (I actually have about ~25k of future stuff written last time I checked, including parts of chapters MUCH further down the road 😅).

Other Wips

While my focus has been on my ongoing stories, I do have a few other WIPs I have actual content written for! So here's an update on those as well. For fun.

Personal Trainer!Kino x Reader Modern AU — I have the beginning of this story and a few scenes written, and SO many notes for it. (My relationship with my trainer is fantastic. He's 50% big brother energy, 50% wingman energy, but he says THE most out of pocket shit so I immediately write it down after my sessions. Because him saying it does nothing for me, but imagining Kino saying it?? 😵‍💫🫠🥵) It will probably end up ~5 chapters total. Probably.

And Your Heart, Love, Has Such Darkness (David x Reader smutty Oneshot) — I started this one a year ago because I wrote something for TDMUS that didn't quite fit, but I liked it enough to keep it and make it its own thing. It's over half done right now, so it will likely be the next oneshot I post.

I Didn't Want to Hurt You, but You're Pretty When You Cry (Dark!David x Reader) — I think this one will end up about 3 chapters long and will contain a lot of content warnings. It's going to be more horror focused (with splashes of dark humor because I cannot help myself). I adore the opening chunk I've written. It gave me goosebumps.

Secret Andy Blorbo x Reader Oneshot — This one started as a joke on Discord about an Andy blorbo that is not only incredibly niche/unknown, but is actively not attractive (one of the very rare times Andy Serkis does nothing for me. In fact, when I see him, my vagina makes the windows shutdown noise). Except I made the mistake of saying, "I want to try to write for this character as a fun challenge just so I can sexually confuse everyone." And it, uh, spiraled from there and made me rethink my entire stance on this character (thank you for not only indulging me, Hannah, but encouraging me and giving me more ideas 💖 I loved [redacted] thirst day in TNBF)

Halsin x Tav — That's right, I'm writing for the sexy druid. It'll be 2 chapters, and it's about a third of the way finished. This Tav will be a human fighter, but is otherwise written more like a Reader Insert. (Side note: going back to 3rd person POV after writing a lot of 2nd person POV is harder than I imagined 🙃)

Paz Vizsla x Mando!Reader Oneshot — That's right, I'm also writing for the big Mandalorian. It's about a third of the way finished as well. (These last 2 are actually a little intimidating because the fandoms are MUCH larger, but I need to get them out sooo fuck it, it's happening.)

So as you can see, even though I haven't posted very much outside of Liam Black, I'm still writing a lot. Apparently I just have commitment issues and a lot of ✨thots✨ 😌💖

[annabtg]

8, 9, 11, 15, 17, 18, 20, 21, 23, 30 :) 💜

Oooh, thank you for the extensive list, jayne!! 💜💜

8. What fic meant the most to you to write?

A few fics could fit this bill but the top place goes to Verses Written In '74. I've had the skeleton of the concept in my head since I finished writing My Best Friend's Girl (the fic that probably takes all-time top place in 'meant the most to me') and it was wonderful to actually put it into words. Also, I hadn't written Sirius/Lily in a while and I have a soft spot for them - I had to! And lastly, it makes use of one of my favourite songs ever. ❤️

9. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

The Big Little Moments. Not that it didn't give me trouble at some point, but overall it was so fluffy and I was so happy with my writing in it and I got to fit all the late 70s headcanons I wanted in it so :D

11. What fic was the most difficult to write?

Perhaps counterintuitively, Verses Written In '74. It's a setup not many people, um, agree with, so I had to set it up properly, make it read independently from MBFG (Idk why I just didn't want it to be a sequel??) get the characterizations right, and do all that without destroying the atmosphere that I wanted it to convey. The smut was the easiest part. :p

15. What was the hardest fic to title?

The Three-Minute Initiative was the only one that gave me real trouble! And I wasn't sure about the title even after posting it - though I admit it sounds catchy!

17. Share your favourite opening line.

Going through my fics, I realize that my opening line is usually a statement, and the good part comes right after. xD I'd say that the first line from Drunk With Power is a fun one!

“Sit up straight, Evans.”

18. Share your favourite ending line.

Hah, ending lines are much more my strength! I'll go with the last line of crawl home, which was different in the first draft but I had it in my mind that it had to end with a sentence similar to the one we see here and I was very pleased with myself when I got it right:

There was nothing to fear — he was already dead. And nothing else to do but clamber out of that wretched grave, face the right side of the earth again, and crawl home.

20. Share your funniest line.

Have I even written anything funny this year? Lol 😅 Probably this exchange from Drunk With Power:

“You have to set a good example.” His wand tip presses harder into her back – it doesn’t hurt, it’s just annoying enough to keep her head up. “Correct posture is very important when you’re reading. You don’t want to get back pain.” “I do have a pain in my back, as it happens.”

21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

Well - Anemoia was supposed to be a Jily fic from Harry's POV, but it ended up becoming a Harry-mourning-Sirius fic with some Hinny. I'm not too upset about it. xD

23. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Sadly, I don't think I had THE moment. Writing Fixed Luck might be a good candidate, because when I started working on it I hadn't written anything in exactly two months and was already questioning whether I'd be able to ever write again at all.

30. What would you like to write next year?

I want to finish my Ironmaster AU!! AAAAAAH I was on such a roll with it until I got stuck in my own head about the worldbuilding etc. and now the words aren't wording at all. I need to restart my brain somehow. Hopefully once this stupid cold goes away I'll be able to focus better!

2024 in review questions here!